Should You Get Back Together with Your Ex?

Should You Get Back Together with Your Ex?

Almost anyone who has experienced a breakup has debated whether they should get back together with an ex or move on and find someone new. Breaking up is a valuable part of dating. Each breakup provides an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and learn a thing or two about ourselves that can be applied in a positive way in our next relationship. An ex knows you well and it can be comfortable/easy to slip back into that relationship. But before you do so, it is a good idea to think about whether or not the relationship was/is right for you. The following considerations will help you work through issues surrounding why you broke up in the first place and develop a strategy for moving forward.

Why did the relationship end?

It is crucial that you take the time to think about what caused the breakup between you and your ex. Was it over a deal-breaker issue for one or both of you (such as values, drug use, infidelity or abuse)? Was your trust broken? Were your expectationsin alignment? Are you hoping that he or she will change in some way? Remember that knowing who you are, what you want and what you value makes you a good partner. Similarly, the only person you can change is yourself. So if you and your ex don’t see eye-to-eye on the big issues in life or if you have underlying issues that you were unable (or unwilling) to resolve, then reuniting is unlikely to result in a long-term, healthy relationship.

Beware of the on again, off again relationship

It is completely normal to feel lonely from time to time; this feeling may make your ex seem more desirable. However, if you find that you continually end a relationship and get back together with someone because it’s easier than being single, there is a problem. On again, off again relationships may be the result of excess conflict, incompatibility or unwillingness to work through problems in the relationship. The on/off cycle will only do more harm than good and will prevent you from meeting someone who is truly a good match for you.

Working it out

Sometimes exes are able to reunite and stay together for good. But both of you must be willing to put in the time and effort it takes to fix the problems in the relationship,forgive each other for wrongdoings and leave the past in the past. Knowing yourself, objectively assessing your ex’s strengths and weaknesses and communicating welltogether are essential to making the decision about a possible future together. If you cannot talk openly and safely, it’s probably not worth re-investing in the relationship.

Whether or not you attempt to renew a relationship with an old flame depends on the situation. Although there are exceptions, relationships generally end because it is simply not a good match or one or both partners lack the commitment required to work through issues and stay together. Sometimes it is best to learn from past mistakes and move on, instead of falling back into an unhealthy relationship with your ex.

sourced: twoofus